The other day, I was paying for a car wash when the woman asked if I wanted to upgrade from my single wash to a monthly plan in which I could wash my van twice a day, every day for the month. I declined her offer and thought who would wash their care twice a day every single day of the month? As I pulled into the car wash, I grabbed a microfiber cloth I keep in the car to wipe dust off the dashboard as the machine pulled my van through the wash. But when I looked up and saw the water running down the windshield, I stopped cleaning. I realized that the inside of the car was quiet except for the sound of the water. It was captivating. For a minute, I was surrounded by silence.  

I also thought back to a memory I hadn’t recalled in a long, long time. When we were kids, my brother and I loved to go through the carwash in our parents’ station wagon. We were delighted when the big blue shaggy roller would come down on the car. I smiled remembering how excited we got when we went to the carwash even though it seems silly now. Simple entertainment, but we thought it was so fun.

I often think that if I’m going to have time alone, I need a weekend or longer away from the stresses of everyday life. But I wonder what would happen if I looked for small pockets of time to find restoration? Many of us look for every opportunity to multi-task, me included. If I’m on the phone, I try to find something I can accomplish at the same time. Recently, my daughter Riley called from her job as camp counselor and was particularly attuned to any sound that demonstrated my distraction. “Mom, that is so loud. Please stop,” she said even though I thought I was being discreet performing my additional task. She called me out on the fact that I was not focused completely. But just as I was too busy cleaning the dash of my van to realize I had a moment to be still and enjoy quiet, I was too intent on performing some other job instead of listening well and building my relationship with my child.     

As for entertainment, sometimes we fall into the trap of believing it must be elaborate and expensive. Perhaps though, we are looking at it through the wrong lens. Now, I’m not saying my kids, three of which are teenagers, would find the carwash amusing. At this point in their lives, the oldest two wash their own cars. But what if the goal is togetherness no matter what we are doing? When I was a kid, the carwash was fun because my brother and I were in it together. Laughing with one another was the key to the happiness we found in that small, everyday circumstance.  

Maybe we can reframe the way we view some of our daily tasks and look for time in our schedules to both be alone and be together. Those small moments of renewal may help lessen the stress we carry most of the time. And perhaps I’ll rethink that monthly carwash plan after all…