Alex and I were at Walgreens to get his covid and flu shots. Because Alex is 11, he had to get the pediatric covid shot but the Walgreens we usually use didn’t offer the shots for children. So, we ended up at the pharmacy across town where we aren’t acquainted with the staff. The woman helping us seemed frustrated. She had to get the pharmacist’s help to find the pediatric doses. She was stone faced and seemed unhappy. I tried to be pleasant and patient. I looked at her while she worked and realized that I had a similar, if not the exact same, type of sweater. I decided to take a chance to talk to her even though I wasn’t sure it would help. I said, “I think I have the same sweater. It’s very cozy.” Her face changed instantly. She smiled and her eyes lit up. I was so surprised at the level of her reaction and change in her demeanor. I couldn’t help but smile back at her. I was glad I’d told her. We both benefitted. 

Finding a small moment of connection can make quite a difference. I wear press-on nails, which range from conservative French manicures to wild designs including jewels and holiday designs. So, I notice other people’s nails as well. When I think their nails look cool, I tell them, “I like your nails,” and they will always smile and say thank you. They usually respond with “I like your nails too.” And I can tell you that when someone notices my nails first, it makes me happy. At our Halloween trunk-or-treat at church, I told a little girl that I liked her nails knowing that her mother is a nail aficionado. She held her hand out so I could see them better, and said, “my mom did them.” She was proud I’d noticed something she obviously loved and an experience she’d shared with her mom. 

I’ve watched my sons connect with strangers over their brand and style of basketball shoes. There is instant admiration that blooms between them. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone ask the boys, “Are those Luka’s?” That’s the brand of shoe named after our hometown Dallas Maverick.  I think each of us has something that’s a representation of our personality. Be it our hair or clothes or shoes or jewelry or makeup. Maybe it’s a sports team we wear on our sleeves or a love for coffee or we carry a certain type of water bottle. We can use those little things to connect to others even if for a brief time.  

Maybe it’s not always possible to find something that connects us with another person in a quick interaction, but it’s worth the effort. And if we can’t find a personal tie to the other person, it’s fine to revert to the weather or some other generic topic as long as we try to connect in a way that goes deeper than a strictly transactional interaction. We can create moments of connection and strengthen our humanity when we look for the little things we may have in common.