I was at my dentist’s office to have my cavity fixed and begin the process of getting a crown. The filling I’d had in that tooth had chipped away, leading to the cavity, and a tooth that was now too small to fill again after the decay was removed. Thus, the crown. In my opinion, dentist visits have changed dramatically over the last twenty years. Now, in addition to the gas and the numbing shots to relax and dull the pain, I get a blanket for comfort, sunglasses to shade the bright light, and a tv to watch. When I first began at my dentist’s office years ago, they had a list of DVDs from which to pick. Now, they’ve moved to online subscription services like Netflix. I’ve become accustomed to watching Gilmore Girls for the thousandth time because I know every episode and won’t miss anything significant if I fall asleep during a procedure. But on the day of my latest appointment, the tv couldn’t connect to the internet. The hygienist tried to reconnect the service, but it still didn’t work. It wasn’t that a big of a deal, but the phrase displayed on the screen stayed with me: “We are having problems connecting.” 

Lately, it’s felt like we are having a lot of problems connecting. When I watch the news, I feel the heavy weight of the world, the wars, the terror, the dying. All of it feels eerily familiar when compared to history, but frighteningly new and overwhelming. I feel anxious about our nation’s future as we hurdle toward an election that is a replay of the last one but with greater consequences. Frankly, that terrifies me. 

And maybe that’s the issue – we are all scared of something, but not necessarily the same things. We each think we know the best solutions, but we don’t agree on those either. I’m guilty of demonizing the side that is opposite of me, and I know they think I’m a woke, lost cause. I don’t know where the compassion and kindness have gone in our national dialogue. Maybe it’s been thrown out with idea of nuance and the acknowledgement that most issues are complicated. 

When I spend time soaking in the news or social media outlets, I tend to absorb all the negativity and feel weighed down by the gravity of the circumstances. I feel isolated and helpless. What should I do with all these big emotions when the world seems out of control most of the time? When we have so many problems connecting?

I’m a stay-at-home mom, and I can spend all day by myself from the time I drop my kids off at school until I pick them up. I like my alone time to write and get household things done, but the downside is that I miss connecting with people. When the solitary nature of my day combined with the sadness of the world combine to increase my despair, I’ve realized that making a small connection is at least a step in pulling myself out of my existential malaise. Something as simple as going to the store and greeting the salespeople I know can help. Texting my friends or sending them a funny video can make for a lighter day. Planning a lunch for a future date can brighten the future. Sunday church conversations fill my cup because I love my community. Even going to the dentist and talking to the people there that I’ve known for over fifteen years makes me feel better, although I could do without the cavity and crown next time. 

We are built to connect with others. Period. And when we don’t connect with others, the world’s pain can make us feel that all is lost. But maybe connecting to individuals and our communities is the small thing we can do in our daily routines to alleviate our loneliness and help others feel less isolated at the same time. We may not be able to solve the world’s problems on our own, but perhaps our efforts to connect with those we encounter will give us the hope we need to heal the small part of the world we occupy.