Every parent and child have faced this situation: the child says they don’t like a particular food but when the parent asks if the kid has tried it, the answer is no. And almost every parent says something to the effect of “you don’t know if you like it or not until you’ve tried it.” What happens next runs the gambit. Some parents will attempt to entice their child to taste the food in question while some will give up based on previous episodes. But almost every parent would stand firm that the child can’t form an opinion without experiencing it.  

I thought about this common experience after I watched the Super Bowl halftime show this year. The artist Usher took the stage, and I quickly realized that I didn’t know as many of his songs as I thought. I appreciated his dancing, high energy, and showmanship, but I acknowledged that I probably didn’t appreciate it as much as I would’ve if I’d known more of his music. After the performance, I was surprised by the vast differences in the reactions to his performance on social media platforms. Usher’s fans loved his performance and hailed it as one of the best Super Bowl halftimes ever. Other people said how much they hated his performance. But I noticed that none of the people who disliked his show said they were huge Usher fans but were disappointed by how he performed. I think they were like me and didn’t know much about Usher’s repertoire. Instead of admitting they didn’t know his music though, they said his performance was awful. Sounded a lot to me like the kids who say they don’t like something because they haven’t experienced it.    

I think we do this a lot with respect to artist’s performances, yes, but also in a lot of other contexts. We say we don’t like something when we have not experienced it. We say we don’t like something when we haven’t made any effort to learn about it. Worse yet, we say we don’t like someone or a group of people without trying to understand who they are and what they’ve gone through. We don’t listen to their stories. We feel fearful or threatened based on our assumptions, not informed decisions. 

Instead of jumping to the conclusion that we don’t like someone or something, what would happen if we took a step back and analyzed whether we actually understand the person or subject well enough to make that assessment? It seems like such a simple thing that we expect children to understand the concept. I think we might find that we don’t have enough knowledge to make judgments about many of the ideas and groups that we so easily dismiss as unlikable, undesirable, or undeserving. We might take a breath before we speak out. We might wait a beat and wonder why others have different takes on the subjects and people we disregard. 

I’m convinced that acknowledging we might not know enough before we make a judgment could make a difference in how we approach people and subjects. If we stopped and analyzed our own knowledge, the initial heat of our snap convictions might dissipate. Maybe we could view others through a different lens. Saying I haven’t shared that experience, so I need to know more before I form an opinion is a valid and worthy response. More intellectually honest, with more emotional depth, and more open to the humanity that is in all of us.