Do I have enough journals to serve me for years in advance? Yes. Do I still love to get journals from friends as gifts? Yes. Do I still look at journals when I’m out shopping? Yes. And do I still buy journals for myself? Yes, I do. So, now that I’ve confessed all that, I’ll tell you about my latest journal shopping. I was in Walgreens to pick up meds, and they actually have a pretty good journal section. I came face to face with one that said, “My Spiritual Journey.” My immediate thought was “my spiritual journey won’t fit inside that journal.” While the inside of the journal itself contained a useful guide for daily scripture reading, thoughts, and prayers, I remained stuck on how our spiritual journeys are anything but simple. 

As is often the case, my focus on a word led me to look up the definition. Journey is defined as “something suggesting travel or passage from one place to another” or “an act or instance of traveling from one place to another” (merriam-webster.com). Perhaps it’s the phrase, “from one place to another” that sometimes throws us off kilter when it comes to a spiritual journey. We are so concerned about progress and goals and success in our world that we try to apply those standards to our spiritual lives as well. But measuring progress in spiritual terms is not easy, if not impossible. 

All of the classic travel metaphors apply. At times, we find ourselves in the spiritual wilderness, feeling scared and lost, unable to find our way out of the struggle. Sometimes, in the desert, feeling far from God and abandoned, thirsting for spiritual replenishment but finding none. We may feel like we’re drowning in doubts or that God is not helping us through life’s storms. Occasionally, we may find ourselves on a mountaintop when we feel we’ve had an aha spiritual moment.

Yet, we spend most of our time living in the ordinary, everyday. We can find contentment in the normal rhythms of life. We can make steady progress in our spiritual journey when we pray, worship, and gather in communities. But that can feel stagnant at times too. We may feel as though we’re doing nothing because nothing is “happening.” It’s not like we arrive at a destination so that we can say our journey is complete. We don’t get a promotion or a raise to show our faith has increased. We don’t even get gold stars. 

Many years ago, I struggled with the fact that I did not fully trust God. I just kept thinking if I could only trust God with all my heart and mind, everything would be okay. I thought if I could trust God completely then all would be well, and I would escape worry and anxiety. Then one day, I realized I’m never going to trust God completely without doubt. It just wasn’t going to happen, particularly given my personality. All of a sudden, I knew that my goal was to trust God more and more every day as I matured in my faith, but that I would never feel like I’d completely made it and accomplished my goal. In that moment though, I felt such relief. My spiritual journey was not something to check off a list when complete. It would never end. It would always be ongoing. And there would be good and bad times. 

I’ve filled many journals with prayers and joys and anxieties and anguish. I’ll continue to write my thoughts and feelings down in the journals I have and the ones I will acquire later. Our spiritual journeys are long and winding and can fill volumes, and God is with us the entire way.